Laid Off? My Patagonia Jacket Survived Worse (And So Will You)
Yep, you heard that right—my Patagonia jacket got hit by a semi-truck and survived. And somehow, that’s less surprising than the irony of company layoffs.
How it Started
It all started when my boss bought all custom black Patagonia jackets with the company’s logo sewn in. Companies have money for custom jackets and fancy lunches, but keeping you on staff? Suddenly, the budget’s tight. Anyone relate? I was excited to finally own something from Patagonia and rock another popular outdoor brand. It was short-lived when, on day two, owning the jacket, the weather took it on the ride of its life. Sound familiar, specifically speaking to those working for the Internal Revenue Service, many of whom have only been there for a year and now have found themselves unemployed - hang in there.
The Adventure
The adventure started as I was heading home from a cruise because I was single and had nothing better to do on a Saturday afternoon. Not to mention this economy, who has time for fun and games. My air conditioning went out on my 2012 blue Ford Escape, so I had to keep the windows slightly rolled down to get a breeze. I was jamming to some 90s hits because I'm a millennial, then a loud woosh swoosh. A large gust of wind hit my car just right and sucked my coat out of the window which was sitting in the passenger seat. It was almost like a vacuum, just woosh swoosh and she gone! Getting laid off is like hitting the company eject button, working one minute, and job hunting the next. Welcome to the safari adventure you didn’t ask to be on.
My Patagonia landed directly on top of the front windshield of the car behind me, blocking their view. As I looked on in horror through my rearview mirror, I did the only logical thing, I sped up. I wasn't about to be part of that accident waiting to happen. When rumors of layoffs come, you better get out of there, polish that resume, and call your contacts before you are left picking up the pieces of the organization’s mess. Those poor people must have thought they got hit by a giant bat or something, but I know they certainly didn't think it was Superman hitching a ride. Fortunately for them, another gust of wind quickly blew my jacket again.
The Semi
The wind carried my jacket, as if there was some personal grudge between them and it was a showdown. I can't make this stuff up people! Have you ever been laid off, because they said your position was not necessary? Then, as you're packing your things you look over and see Larry, the guy who sits at his desk playing PoKeMoN Gaming, wondering why he is still there and you're not. It’s as if you missed something or perhaps your manager hated you all along, does anyone relate? Eventually, my jacket landed in front of me, in the middle lane of all places, the busiest place to be. I was rooting for her, "Run little jacket run," but it was too late. Out of nowhere, a giant semi-truck plowed right over it. From the inside of my car, I mourned with a loud No! I was so upset! Sound similar? Layoffs always seem to happen at the worst times, around Christmas, before your big summer vacation, and you're blindsided, anyone relate?
It's Alive
I searched for it later, hoping to find it and maybe bury it or at least explain to my boss why she would never see me wearing it. To my surprise, I did find it, blown into a ditch on the side of the road. It was lying there hanging onto a stick as if it truly had been through trauma, in need of serious counseling at BetterHelp. Trash was around it, and I felt afraid to pick it up, but I did. I was expecting it to be bad, but to my surprise, the only damage I found was an inch-long tear in the back, with a bit of fuzzy white stuff sticking out. Just like the person reading this article, being laid off was scary, but now you're hopefully realizing, you hated that job and it’s going to be okay.
My friend suggested I take it to REI, the company that inspires you to get outside. It was there it got patched up! It became my short-lived secret as I made sure to text my boss and coworkers the crazy story, with as much animation possible over text and voice message. Exactly like the emotional texts sent after a companywide layoff to all your family and friends, or maybe a celebration depending on the severance they promised. Then there is the hush money when they make you sign non-disclosure agreements about how much you got, they can’t risk you finding out Sally, who was friends with the boss, got more than you.
The Lesson
Sometimes life can suck you up and away from the path you were on, just like a company layoff. It can feel like the company you have been faithfully dedicated to, has suddenly decided they don’t know you. You made it this far in your career because you are resilient, you will bounce back and Patagonia will continue to fulfill its mission to save our home planet.
